A character piece

Let me introduce you to a fellow co-worker of mine. Well, he used to be a co-worker, now he's a supervisor. I have many co-workers that are characters. This fellow just recently became more of a character than before. I call him 'the ferret'. I can't capitalize the name, even though I am using it as a proper pronoun, the ferret is man that cannot be respected.
The reason I call him 'the ferret': Most of my co-workers just called him 'stinky' but that was being nice. When they weren't being nice they used verbiage that cannot and should not be used anywhere. The moniker came from his pungent smell. Something akin to Marlboro, cat piss, and the lack of soap to clean up with. The ferret is in his fifties. Hippie hair and beard, his shirt undone to reveal a furry mat of aged beastliness, nestled into which is a gaudy golden cross. He has a long nose and a very high forehead offset only by his wide display of his smoked yellow dentures. Let it be known to all people that he both looks and talks, without exaggeration, like Tommy Chong in 'That 70's Show'.
I'm not sure how he got his job exactly. The theory is that he lied on his resume and our superior managers never bothered to call around. To begin with he was mostly a nice fellow, at least not outrightly mean as the supervisor above him. And he did about as much work as the rest of us.
A few things changed: he got the mean supervisor fired for stealing. A fact I now question. He was bumped up to the same position. Shortly after which he pulled a muscle in his back and no longer did any real work. The ferret, now completely bored, as he now had no real work to do began to take a turn that made everyone start asking questions. He began claiming that he was rich, that he had completed his masters and had a fortune waiting in retirement. He never answered any direct questions about his education. But he claimed to be an expert on everything.
I've had a large amount of experience with people who deliberately trying to sway your opinions of themselves by asserting their superiority. Largely these people that the ferret typifies, are generally thought to be losers (and don't get me wrong, they are). But they don't have to be: that's the hilarity of the whole thing. No one can be the best at everything, and there's nothing more pitiable than someone who says they are and fails at every attempt.
How did the ferret betray himself? For several months he says he talks to upper management about getting the lower workers more benefits and, occasionally, lunch. A point that he likes to tell us. If there is a meeting (even if its been posted for a week) he will tell everyone, the day of, as if it was something completely new. He would go to great lengths in telling me, and a few others that bothered to listen, how to do our job, which I found in most cases to be completely unhelpful. If anything was said that contradicted him or refuted him he would simply not hear it even if it was yelled in his ear. He would deny it completely. If one brought proof he would not remember the conversation. It came down to him not knowing a thing about what he was saying. That made everyone suspicious. Then it happened:
The branch manager came and told us that he would be buying lunch as we had all worked hard and set a record for the year. We mentioned that it should wait a bit for the next shift to show up so that everyone would reap the benefit. So the word was put out and pizza was to be delivered when the next shift got in. Enter the ferret a few hours later: "Hey guys, I talked to the boss and got us all pizza tonight."